How is sex, marriage, and dating experienced within your culture?

2 Mar

“Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby…”

Growing in a Christian household, I was always taught that sex was made to be experienced within the institution of marriage between a man and a woman. Although my thoughts on this topic do not stray too far from that of my upbringing, I do however, feel that sex should be an intimate engagement in which one decides when he /or she wants to engage in the act – taking into consideration of all its other factors. Because I was raised in such a culturally diverse city, I can honestly say that, even in the midst of my strong willedness, my views on sex have somewhat been sueded. In New York State, the Age of Consent is 17-years-old. This conveys that a person is legally able to understand and agree to consensual sex with no specification of a male and another male, male and female, or a female and another female.

Living in such an avid day and age, I think the true essence and purity of sex has been defiled – not just by my peers, but by my elders, as well. Because of my upbringing, my own personal biases evoke me to believe that sex was created by God for a husband and a wife to become closer to each other with pleasurable acts, which essentially were to lead to procreation. Today, sex has gone for being in the contents of a union, to being in the composition of a male /or female’s daily routine and lifestyle. It has gone from being a formality to being causality – not just in courtships and friendships, but also in marriages. And I think what people tend to forget is that sex is not just something that involves physical desires, but it also insinuates emotional ties, which is why it was created to remain within a union.


“Meet Me At The Alter In Your White Dress… Let’s Get Married…”

Even though America is one of the most diverse countries on the globe, its general population defines marriage as the institution of a man and a woman into a monogamous union. In more recent decades, people have become more vocal on the rights of marriage – mainly, whether it should remain between a man and a woman, or if it should be allowed to represent those same morals between a woman and another woman or a man and another man. Because of my religious background, I am not opposed to those beliefs. Marriage, to me, is one of the many ways of showing your outward affection for a person, and who gets to do so, should not be judged.

In my culture, marriage is a process. It starts off with a male and female courting. There is no specific time length in which they should court for – some do for a day and others for years. Usually when the male falls madly in love with the female and he feels that her feelings will and are reciprocated, he will purchase a ring, get down on one knee, and ask his lady to marry him. If the female says, “Yes,” the two will be considered engaged until they have a gathering with friends and family, where they exchange vows, say, “I do,” and share a kiss. Then, at that very moment, the two will be referred to as husband and wife.


“It’ll Be Fly, If You Were My B-U-D-D-Y…”

When I was younger, I always thought that dating, or courting, was when a guy and a girl think each other is cute, and the guy asks the girl out on a date, the girl says, “Yes,” the guy picks a girl up from her house at 8PM on Friday night, he meets her parents, the guy and the girl go to the movies, get something to eat, takes the girl home, maybe they kiss ‘Good Night,’ and if they enjoyed themselves they’d do it again sometime. But nowadays, dating has become so serious; it’s almost like a junior marriage. The contents within these relationships differ from couple to couple, whether the couple is gay, lesbian, straight, or in a monogamous or a polygamous relationship, but the status of these relationships and how they affect the people within them emotionally is pretty drastic compared to how I thought it was. To be honest, I think the proper way to address people seeing each should be that they are “in a relationship.” Dating, I think is just the act of going out to the movies and out to eat within these relationships, but to emphasize on the term, it is definitely more of a subgroup than an actual category.


4 Responses to “How is sex, marriage, and dating experienced within your culture?”

  1. Malin March 2, 2011 at 4:14 am #

    I like the way that you came across your point. the thing that you say about the dating was really intersting because it is true that is what most people in my family believe dating is but now people who say that they dique together arent really going on any dates that are more formal or romantic. times are changing but i dont think that the concept marriage should change but i do think that marriage is a diificult chose because some people think of it differentley than others.

  2. srb7248 March 2, 2011 at 2:35 pm #

    I like open this article is open and I feel it gets the point across of other people perspectives, I feel that this is how some Americans feel, this idea of sex and marriage would be widly excepted here but not and other places.

  3. Tristan K. March 3, 2011 at 2:29 am #

    I like this article it does provide the feel of your views on marriage. In reference to your upbringing I was raised that marriage should be between a man and a woman and that sex is something that comes along with marriage. In all honestly I really don’t care at this point in my life because Im not getting married anytime soon. When the time for me to consider a wife is at hand then I will worry about these things

  4. Sharon March 4, 2011 at 1:27 am #

    You wrote a long but very well written post. My parents also raised me to think of sex as something that was made to be experienced by a man and woman in marriage. When I was younger I also thought dating was cute and simple, I didn’t realize how much emotion is really involved when it comes to being in a relationship with someone. I also agree that the idea of sex has changed a lot. In my opinion I think sex brought up frequently as a casual topic. While there are those who are open about their sexual relationships there are still those who are not. My views on sex have also changed over time based on the people and things that surround me, but I feel as though I haven’t strayed far from the ideals my parents raised me with.

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