Did you hear _____ is cuffed?!

9 May

What are your views and expectations in regards to dating and marriage? What have your views on dating and marriage been shaped by? How is the way marriage is lived and/or experienced in your culture similar or different from others?

For this assignment you will need to interview 2-3 students and write your response to this questions in 2 paragraphs as a comment on this post.

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27 Responses to “Did you hear _____ is cuffed?!”

  1. kellyikiyo May 10, 2011 at 3:50 pm #

    How is the way marriage is lived/experienced in your culture similar or different from others?

    One person said marriage is a really strong bond between two people who love each other and is bigger than a normal “relationship” is.
    Another person believed that it’s when two people want to move up into a bigger way of love than a relationship.
    Depending on the culture, some other cultures do it for increase of their status, pleasure, or because their culture requires them to get married either to do it or to be able to have sex.

    • skb2138 May 10, 2011 at 4:06 pm #

      I myself am a person who believes that marriage is important and it has lost its value and importance in society due greed and selfishness and lack of self control. There are many people who do not want to get married based on the fact that they believe the marriage will fail or they believe that getting married is pointless because now a days people live like they married so there is nothing special about it.

      I am against the practice of polygamy based on the teachings of my religions and also I feel that the practice of polygamy is based on greed and also it makes men lazy having different women doing everything for them verses having each person in the relationship contribute to the relationship equally. Also I believe that people should marry the people that they care about the most which can be narrowed down to one person.

      Karen:
      -Feels that people should marry only one person
      -She is a Christian so she feels that you should not have sex before you are married
      -She is not against gay marriage and she feels that it is their choice.
      -She is still undecided on whether she wants to get married or not because of marriage between her mother and her step dad and she does not want to be in that position
      -Marriage is supposed to be for love

      Christiana
      -Is against polygamy she figures if you want to be with more than one person then don’t get married
      -marriage is supposed to be about love
      -Is unsure whether she wants to get married (she would get married to please he family)
      -Believes in prenuptial agreements

    • christanag May 12, 2011 at 6:54 pm #

      I believe that marriage is between two people and no else. It’s those two peopel business what they want to do with their lives and others shouldn’t but in. My beliefs on marriage is shaped by my religion I am Catholic but I don’t believ everything that is said in the bible. My family also has a major impact on my views on marriage because they are nuetral to it they also believe who ever wants to get married should. My older relatives are more religious though and disagree.

      The three people I interviewd all said simialr answers. They do want to get married in the future and believe in marriage but only between two people and not having multiple spouses. They said marriage is between two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives with that significant other.

  2. cvflores May 10, 2011 at 4:02 pm #

    Amadou believes that guys should have a maximum of four wives because he is muslim. He also says that it is up to the man to make this decision, one doesn’t necessarily have to practice polygyny.

    Jody believes that if a couple really loves each other then there is no need to get married. It’s all about trust. The person you are with should trust you enough.

  3. jacksontuck May 10, 2011 at 4:02 pm #

    My views regarding dating and marriage I think are pretty straightforward. I believe in marriage and I believe that one day when I am older at some point, I will get married to whomever it might be, and whenever it may be. To me marriage is not as big of a deal as I think it is to most people, I don’t think that being married is that much more of a big deal than seriously dating a person is. I think the only real difference between it is that you have shown to your partner and the world that you are serious about it, and that now you and your partner will be able to share the economic and social benefits of being in a marriage. I think that my views on marriage have been shaped pretty greatly by my culture, I think and always have as I have been growing up that marriage is an important sanctity between two people, and is something that you should do as you grow up. I do believe that my views on the sanctity of marriage is very different than that of other cultures because I firmly believe that marriage is a right that even same sex couples should experience. I also believe that marriage should be between mainly two people, which is also different from that of other cultures.
    Most of the people I talked to had pretty similar ideals regarding marriage as I did. Most everybody believed that same sex marriage should be legal and also that for most cases a marriage was between two people. While some people did disagree with me and say that marriage was not a thing that they were planning on pursuing in their lives. A few people also had some ideas which they thought that the institution of marriage was a much bigger deal than I was making it out to be.

  4. sdl2207 May 10, 2011 at 4:04 pm #

    My view on dating is that you should be with one girl that you care about and never cheat on her. My view on Marriage is that you should have one women that you love and care for and should always have one wife that you should be dedicated to. My view on marriage was always loving your wife and support your wife and children. My views on marriage to other cultures maybe different because there believes will be different because they may have one or more wife’s in there lives and have many children.

  5. Karen Gallegos May 10, 2011 at 4:05 pm #

    For the people I interviewed, they believe marriage is a union of two people basically on the love they got for each other not based on power or money like other cultures do. They think that instead of having more than one wife, they believe that it is better to date many people and then from there you meet many people until you find that one you truly love and want to spend the rest of your life with. It is basically how people are raised that their cultures differentiate the meaning of marriage and what it is to them.

    Based on the people I interviewed, they all believed in monogamy because a woman should be only with one man and viceversa … (did not finish)

    • Karen Gallegos May 11, 2011 at 1:49 am #

      For the people I interviewed, they believe marriage is a union of two people basically on the love they got for each other not based on power or money like other cultures do. They think that instead of having more than one wife, they believe that it is better to date many people and then from there you meet many people until you find that one you truly love and want to spend the rest of your life with. It is basically how people are raised that their cultures differentiate the meaning of marriage and what it is to them.

      Based on the people I interviewed, they all believed in monogamy because a person should be married to only one spouse. Based on their opinion, they said that polygamy is wrong and it should not be allowed unless it is part of their culture. However, one person said that having more than one wife it seems like cheating and it is more accessible to sexual transmitted diseases since you’re having sexual intercourse with more than one person.

      My view in marriage is different that many of these cultures. I do agree with the people I interviewed even though I respect other culture’s beliefs. I have met people that believe in polygamy and most of them are through arranged marriage. But in my point of view, I believed marriage should be about choosing the person you want to be with for the rest of your life and to be only married to you. Also, since I’m both Christian and Catholic, I was taught that sex should be done after you get married. It does depend on the way I was taught by my family and the culture I come from.

  6. biancaconcepcion May 10, 2011 at 4:06 pm #

    Personally I do not believe in marriage. I do not want to get married when I get older because of what I saw my own parents go through in their marriage. I think that marriage can be a waste of time sometimes. In some cases I do not want to have a child out of wedlock so if I do have children I want to be married because it is better for the child. I do think that marriage is way to show that you truly love and devote your all to that one person when you are able to give your last name and also take someone’s last name. I do believe in gay marriage people should be able to marry who they want no matter what gender.
    I interviewed three people Amadou, Noelis, and Priscilla. All three interviewees had different views. Amadou believes in polygany. He believes in a man having more than one wife, he said he believes in this because of the religion that he was brought up in. Amadou does not believe in gay marriage. Noelis and Priscilla both have similar beliefs; they believe that you do not need a legal document to show a person that you truly do love them. They both believe in gay marriage people should be able to marry freely amongst each other.

  7. sga4177 May 10, 2011 at 4:06 pm #

    My interviewee told me that in his religion it is acceptable to marry up to 4 wives but it is optional, but this person does not believe in gay marriage.

    The other participant said that marriage is not necessary to love someone else, she also said that a couple should trust each other so much that they should still love each other even without marriage.

    The way marriage is lived in my culture is different from others because some of their beliefs accept them to have more than one wife.

  8. albertovargas12 May 10, 2011 at 4:07 pm #

    How is the way marriage is lived/experienced in your culture similar or different from others?

    The responses i got were: “as a happy family and with one wife and husband. Thats the way it should be…. oh and no CHEATING.”
    “you only get married once and no divorcing.”
    “i am not getting married because everyone gets divorced.”
    I was a bit surprised because i wasn’t expecting all this pessimism. I was expecting more “i cant wait to get married,” but i guess not.

  9. ske0718 May 10, 2011 at 6:43 pm #

    I believe that marriage is a state of mind after a wedding. A wedding being an event to show everyone else how much 2 people care for each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Some day in the future after I straight out what I want from life I would hope to get married, to someone that I love and know wont annoy me every morning. I think I’ve come up with this definition of what it means to me by my surroundings, I have seen relationships end badly and people making bad decisions, which is why I try to prevent it. I think it’s similar to most of America’s expectations in the way that my family wants me to get married and have children and live a perfect life. But different in the way, that it must be to a guy and a must be devoted to me alone. This being my cultural’s beliefs and I interviewed 2 people to see their viewpoint.
    They have requested to remain anonymous. The first being a heterosexual male still seeking a companionship to marry because that’s what expected from him. When asked about same sex marriage, he was unsure of his feelings because he belongs to the Catholic faith and in god’s eyes it is seen as wrong but he personally wasn’t exactly uncomfortable with the idea. When asked about multiple wives, he laughed and stated “hell no” to much work, one will do.
    The second being a married heterosexual male who will be referred to as Denzel (upon his request). Denzel has been married for 5 years and is happy with his wife so when asked about more wives, he laughed. Saying “I’m already broke with one, 2 is too much”. When asked about same sex marriage he said he didn’t believe in it, for himself, but had no problem for others. When asked when a couple should get married, he stated “As long as they can support each other” economically, at least.
    Weather its cultural, religion, or personal experiences people still come up with their own ideas and beliefs.

  10. benjaminrodriguez2112 May 10, 2011 at 6:45 pm #

    My view on marriage is that it is wonderful thing and all, but just not for me. I never have been to a wedding or even came close to seeing one. The only weddings I see are the ones in movies and TV shows. I feel weddings are for those kinds of people that like to be on TV and showcase their love. No one around me has ever got married. They just have boyfriends and girlfriends. Don’t get me wrong sometimes I think of having a wedding with the right person, but I just don’t think I’m like that. I’m more of a quiet person and to myself. I feel if you found someone and you want to be married and have a wedding be my guest, but also there’s not wrong with having that boyfriend or girlfriend for the rest of your life without marriage.

    So I interviewed three people to see what their views were on the subject. I interviewed two male teachers who wish to be anonymous and Katherine Espinal. One of the teachers was married the other wasn’t. However both were okay with traditional marriage, not so much with gay or other forms of marriage. That’s where we differed; I’m okay with marriage but with ALL kinds of marriage. I don’t care if a man falls in love with a goat if he’s happy he’s happy. Also though with peoples religion, if your religion requires you to have more than one wife then so be it that’s just not for me though is what I’m saying. I don’t think any ones wrong just because they were brought up to like weddings or get married a certain way. Katherine shares the same opinion as I do, but instead she could see herself in a wedding. As with me I’m okay with that but still feel it’s not for me, I’m not the wedding type.

  11. Francesca Fay May 10, 2011 at 7:10 pm #

    I believe that any marriage is acceptable except for arranged marriage. It’s kind of selfish to not let your daughter/son pick who they want to be with for the rest of their life. They mine as well pick their education,car,house, kids (lol). Kristen H believes in gay marriage because people people should marry who they love, she also believes that people are allowed to have kids before getting married. She doesn’t believe in polygyny or group marriages. Ms.Liemsider believes in gay marriage. She say’s there is not one true definition of marriage, its very hard to define. She’s not sure about Polygymous relationships she wouldn’t really have to think about that. Amanda N believes in Monogmous and polygymous relationships she just wouldn’t be in a polgymous relationship. She says that marriage in the old days were about securing,providing, making sure people live on but its not the case now.

    -Natifah Walker

  12. Francesca Fay May 10, 2011 at 7:11 pm #

    I am catholic but i don’t believe everything that my culture says. I believe in one man/ one woman marriage and I think any one should has a right to get married even if it’s man and man but the reason they get married should be because they want to spend the rest of their lives with one person not for other reasons like in one religion the men have multiple wives to care for pigs and garden.
    My views on marriage is shaped by my religion but my family has a major impact because they believe that who ever wants to get married should, it’s not other people’s business on what other’s want to do. a marriage is between two people and no one else. I don’t believe that people should have more than one spouse because to me there is no reason to get married if you can’t commit to one person.
    I interviewed three people different questions about marriage which are
    Rodrigo:

    -Christana Gonzalea

  13. margaritaluna May 11, 2011 at 12:49 am #

    I interviewed four different. I interviewed a junior from the i-school, Ms.Liemsider, Mr.Spevack, Mr.Borg and, my boyfriend. They all had very different ideas from one another and also from me.
    I started by interviewing Priscilla a Junior at our school. She said that she does not believe in marriage but, later on in life did see herself getting married. She believes in monogamy and that the best way to make a marriage succeed is through communication. She also stated that there is no real definition to what love is. Then, I interviewed Ms.Liemsider and she did not really have an answer to many of the questions because she said that in some of them she did not have an answer and that there is not realistic answer to what love is. Mr.Spevack was next to be interviewed and his belief in marriage was that it was both economic and religious. Then, I interviewed Mr.Borg who believed that marriage was an agreement that was complicated and comprehensive. He believes that maturity, experience, and respect lead to marriage. When I asked about getting married because the girl is pregnant he compared it to someone trying to do a brain surgery when they aren’t a brain surgeon and that it is basically a disaster if that is the reason for the couple to get married. Finally, when I asked my boyfriend what was his idea of marriage this was his answer “Of course I believe in marriage. Like I dont believe you have to get married but, its just announcing to the world and everyone that you’re dedicated to one person and you wear a ring so everyone can know you love someone and you have a dedication to that person and that person’s happiness and heart.”
    My view on marriage is that it is a commitment that you are making with someone that you truly love. I feel like it is someone that you see as family like that person no longer is an outsider. I believe that to get married you definitely have to love each other and be able to deal with each others flaws without letting the person go the second their is a problem. To me love is the second that you set the other person’s necessities, wants, and needs as a priority in your life because you want to see that person happy. To me marriage is patience, faithfulness, and to try and make the other person happy while you are also happy yourself.

  14. Jonathan Rodriguez May 11, 2011 at 1:29 am #

    Many people had varying views on marriage in our society. Most people had defined marriage in terms of relationships (i.e. “going out”). Some people defined it as essentially a stronger version of a relationship where there is more love between the two people involved. Others said that there was very little difference between a relationship and a marriage besides the fact that it is legally binding. Other people think that getting married is a way to show maturity in a society. This is because people see marriages as a more permanent and important bond and engaging in such shows maturity. This has also been seen as being a bit too much and that marriage should not matter so long as other people love each other. This is different in other cultures as it is seen to have more of “a purpose.” Most people do not support polygamy but are accepting of it. They accept this due to the fact that things are different in other cultures. Most people were also accepting of gay marriage with the exception of those who were religious. One person had even said that it conflicted with one’s “natural born rights.”

  15. unknownking15jg May 11, 2011 at 1:51 am #

    I really do not have expectations to marriage because everyone is different from one another and I do not think I should judge another person life in which it does not impact mine. I do not believe that a relationship should a certain period of time in order to get married because statistically people get a divorce 50% of the time no matter how long they have been a relationship before the marriage. I also do not care if a people use dating websites to find “a perfect match” since it has not been working out in person, as long as there are no pedophiles that only look for sex. For me if I love someone and have been with her for a long period of time, I think I will propose to her hoping she will say yes. I think people who get married do it for tradition, in order to be a family legally. People in the culture marry in order to be a family or do it for money. In other cultures it is a tradition for the parents to choose the husband the woman would have to date and in my culture, the women have the same rights as men.
    I interview several NYC-ischool students on what they think on dating and marriage. A student wanted to marry an NFL or NBA athlete who has millions of dollars and thinks it will make her happy. I think this person wants everything because she has high expectations in the people who she likes. Another student believes a couple should marry when there is a bond between two people that love each other deeply. This person also believes in gay marriage because he believes what I believe, he does not care what people do with their lives as long as it does not impact them.

  16. liamwahl May 11, 2011 at 12:00 pm #

    What is marriage to you?
    I interveiwed three people about what marriage ment to them. Some said that it was only between two people while others told me they didn’t even know one of their parents. Some peoples parents were divoriced, while others were in tact. Marriage means different things to different people.

  17. noahboa May 11, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    Marriage to me is a meaningless institution. In our country it is one created for economic purposes. It’s purpose varies throughout the world but it is essentially ridiculous. If two people in any nation or culture are in love, legal documents are unecessary. All it does is create a problem if and once they decide to split up. It creates economic and social problems that must be solved by teams of lawyers. Why can’t people just fall in love and be a couple forever? Because that IS what marriage is, merely without any legal or religious documentation.

  18. mgonzalez May 11, 2011 at 11:56 pm #

    Marriage to me is a contract made to show how much the two individuals love each other. If the marriage lasts, then the marriage has been successful. Every culture and individuals have different opinions upon what marriage feels to them. In the United States, most people see marriage as a contract that guarantees economic fairness among the relationship. If you really love your partner you should marry her.

  19. hannahatoynatan May 12, 2011 at 12:15 am #

    My view on marriage is a bit complicated to be honest. I think that having a huge white wedding and inviting all of your friends, having a party and going on a honeymoon afterwards is great. Although, the documentation part of the event seems unnecessary. IF two people are dedicated to eachother 100 percent for the rest of their lives then why does it need to be written on paper if they both trust eachother. Maybe it has to do with trust. Maybe documenting that you are legally dedicated to someone is simply to show that they can both trust eachother financially, forever. To show that you will always be able to financially depend on someone else just in case. I really dont think that it has anything to do with children because if two people love eachother and are staying together the children will have nothing to worry about because their parents will always be together. If the parents of the children to seperate, the parents can work it out on their own for time with the children, i dont think the government needs to be involved.

    When it comes to dating, i think its great. Personally, i started dating when i was like 12 but i guess that didnt really count because it was nothing serious. I feel like dating in middle school is meaningless and seriously doesnt mean anything. Dating is only dating when you actually GO OUT ON A DATE and you actually kiss etc. Dating is when you are only seeing one girl/guy.

    My views on marriage and dating are based on my own experiences and my parents. My parents are divorced but they are still great friends. Marriage is experienced differently all the time by cultures and couples everywhere. In some cultures, the man is always in control of the wife and she must do everything he asks and in other cultures both partners wear the pants and make decisions together.

  20. theworldsnotenough May 13, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

    So, I interviewed a few people. These are some of their thoughts:

    – “I feel it is unnecessary to get married, it isn’t very different from a relationship. All marriage is, is an official piece of paper saying you’re in a committed relationships.”
    – “It’s a waste of time and money, you do not need a huge fancy wedding to prove you will be faithful. You obviously are old enough and mature to be ain a relationship and know you have to be faithful.”

  21. theworldsnotenough May 13, 2011 at 3:26 pm #

    So, I interviewed a few people. These are some of their thoughts:

    – “I feel it is unnecessary to get married, it isn’t very different from a relationship. All marriage is, is an official piece of paper saying you’re in a committed relationships.”
    – “It’s a waste of time and money, you do not need a huge fancy wedding to prove you will be faithful. You obviously are old enough and mature to be ain a relationship and know you have to be faithful.”

    My thoughts on marriage kind of vary. I do see myself getting married in the future, but I don’t want to see myself getting married. I don’t see the necessesity of marriage. My parents were never married and they had four kids together. My mom’s first marriage eventually ended and they only had one child. I feel like the committment might scare someone. A lot of religions push towards marriage and I don’t see the point. More than half of the people that elope eventually get divorced. Then, if you ever did want to divorce eachother you would have to pay money and it’s very time consuming. Marriage just makes everything more complicated. My family, being catholics, expect me to get married and I personally don’t want to meet their expectations haha. Maybe I’ll change my mind, but if I do it’s probably not going to be any time soon. I’ve felt this way for quite a long time.

    • theworldsnotenough May 13, 2011 at 3:45 pm #

      Dating is something I’m not too fond of as of now. I feel that they are more like homework as opposed to a relationship. I, being an awkward and complicated person, don’t really like the thought of relationships because I am not very good at conversation and I am not known for being attentative to others needs. I do not enjoy being texted and I reaalllllyy dislike using terms of endearments. I don’t like being called “pumpkin” or “hun” or “baby.” It annoys me, and it scares me how unaffectionate I am sometimes. With family, its different. But, with outsiders I don’t like the thought of being mushy, mushy couples kind of disgust me. Especially those couples who post on eachothers walls every 5 seconds and have lame nick-names for eachother and say that they’d die without their girlfriend/boyfriend. Sorry, this turned into a rant. Haha, anyways … dating isn’t really my thing, it’s too time consuming.

  22. AWilliams May 13, 2011 at 5:26 pm #

    I think that when your dating or that your married that you should be with more than one person because you have to be respectful of the other person feelings and by being with someone else you show that you don’t care. My view of dating and marriage has been shaped from what i see, hear, and the way i was raised. I was raised not to cheat and do other things on the side while I have a girl and when I see or hear people doing things on the side, I feel bothered by it. Marriage is view differently is other cultures because some culture thinks it is okey to have more than one wife while some think its only okay to have one. There are some cultures that allow people to marry the same sex and that show how that culture excepts people for who they are and what they are.

  23. maxswietnicki May 15, 2011 at 1:31 am #

    I think that marraige is something that is socially constructed. As long as two people love each other, it doesn’t matter whether or not they are married, they will still love each other. However, in this society, marriage is seen are more being set in stone than dating, as break-ups are way more common than divorces. Marriage is also socially and culturally constructed because of the rights that they give married people as opposed to dating people. As far as gay marraige/polygamy goes, I think that it’s really no different than regular marriage, and should definitely be allowed, and not obsessed over.
    I interviewed some students, and here’s what they had to say:
    Jackson (Beiber)
    -He is for marraige
    -Marriage is like a bond between two people
    -For gay marraige
    -Polygamy creates inbreeding and a weird family dynamic, but also has other positive effects

    Kiara
    -She thinks marraige is a special union, and is not about money
    -Also it’s about spending your life with someone
    -Not for or against gay marriage
    -She thinks polygamy is bad because it is based on greed

    Elizabeth
    -Marriage is an important decision
    -It’s not important that you get married in church to her
    -She also believes you don’t have to get married if you don’t want to
    -She’s fine with gay marriage
    -She would be uncomfortable if she was the wife of a polygamist, and thinks marriage is too close/intimate for sharing.

    I was surprised at the discomfort in terms of polygamy. I don’t really see it as something that would be bad as long as the wives agreed to it, and if not it would be because of the bad husband, not polygamy itself.

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